A sex therapist once told me that my ethnicity plays a role in my love life. At the time, I didn’t believe her, but now I see there’s truth to this statement.
There’s a connection between self-acceptance and the ability to receive love from others. We can’t give what we don’t have. Therefore, we can’t give or receive love if we haven’t learned to love ourselves.
I struggled with self-acceptance for many years. I hadn’t learned to embrace my ethnicity, and as a result, I hadn’t fully accepted myself. How could I truly love other people if I didn’t even love myself?
Brené Brown is an American scholar, author, public speaker, and research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, she says that we can only love other people to the extent...
“Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” Harry S. Truman
During my freshman year in college, the Arizona Star called and asked me if I wanted to subscribe to their newspaper.
“I’m a college student. I don’t read,” I answered before hanging up the phone.
What I meant to say is that I don’t read for fun. Over ten years later, that’s still true. I don’t read for fun. I read to learn.
That wasn’t always the case. When I was growing up, I read a lot, and mostly for pleasure. As soon as I could talk, I was constantly bugging my mom to read with me, and by kindergarten, I was reading chapter books. During the summer our local library ran a reading program for kids, complete with milestones and prizes. The go-getter that I was, I always won all of the prizes long before the program ended. Throughout elementary and middle school, I carried at least one or two books with me at all times. Reading was a...
Confession: I'm an introvert and I don't make friends very easily.
I work from home and could easily spend all day in my pajamas without speaking to a soul. However, I don't want to be a recluse, so I've been making a conscious effort to meet new people and make new friends.
The problem is that new friends come with new opportunities, and new opportunities often mean new challenges.
If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you. -Fred DeVito
A challenge recently arose when my new friend messaged me out of the blue.
"Want to come with me to this next Saturday?" she asked. She sent me the link to a personal development workshop being hosted at a local yoga studio.
I scanned the description. Journaling? Mantras? Meditation? Count me in!
But then I read the part about trusting. Community. Partnered exercises. Group activities. All of my least favorite things.
My insides curdled.
I was the girl who avoided eye contact and crossed the street so I wouldn't...
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After working customer service and retail for several years, the word "business" left a bad taste in my mouth. The Go-Giver opened up my eyes to the possibilities of what business can (and should) be like. This book seriously changed my life and was a major catalyst in my decision to become an entrepreneur. I recommend it to everyone I meet who's a business owner, and even some people who aren't.
I'm not a naturally thankful person. I have to consciously work to have and express gratitude. Here are some of the ways I've learned how to be more grateful.
In 1936, Dale Carnegie published his famous self-help book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. His advice, “Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain,” is one of the keys to cultivating a grateful heart. After all, we can’t be practicing an attitude of gratitude if we’re criticizing, condemning, or complaining.
“Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.”
– Dale Carnegie
One of my mentors took this a step further, with what he calls the “6 C’s.”
The first time I heard this, I felt so convicted.
I was doing all of these.
It was no wonder I was miserable!
How could I overcome my weaknesses and create a more joyful life?
That really depends on what you make of them. Like most things in life, it comes down to mindset. If you think something will work for you, then it will. If you don’t think it will work for you, then it won’t. So whether or not positive affirmations will work for you depends on if you believe they will or not. It’s like the placebo effect for your brain, but that effect can be very powerful.
I've personally had great success using positive affirmations to alleviate anxiety and depression, cope with stress and chronic illness, and overall maintain a positive attitude and outlook on life.
What’s important to know about affirmations is that there’s no one-size-fits-all mantra out there. Additionally, there’s no right or wrong way to use them. Positive affirmations aren’t about “doing it right” or “doing it enough,” but about using a tool...
Self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve and improve your own health. Creating an effective self-care practice involves taking an active role in protecting your own well-being and happiness, particularly during periods of stress.
Nope! Self-care isn't selfish at all. In fact, self-care comes first.
Keep reading to learn how you can incorporate self-care into your daily routine.
"Holistic" gets a bad reputation for being mystical or mysterious. Really, it's just an all-encompassing approach for viewing health and wellness. Holistic health is based on the understanding that each area of our life is connected to each other.
Holistic self-care includes adding value to each area of your life:
Consistently adding value to each area of your life is not only the foundation of a healthy, holistic self-care...
You've seen the hashtag "self-care comes first" (#selfcarecomesfirst), but is that really true?
The answer is yes, self-care comes first. Always.
As a mental health blogger, self-care advocate, and life coach for women, of course, I'm biased. However, there are three undeniable reasons why self-care is the best care, and why self-care comes first.
Have you ever tried squeezing that last little bit of coffee out of the pot, hoping that more will magically appear?
Has that ever worked?
The truth is that you can't give what you don't have. If you want a nice, piping hot cup of coffee, you've got to put something in the pot first.
The same goes from the results in your life. If you want to be a kind, loving, and generous person, you first have to be kind, loving, and generous with yourself.
Giving and giving and without giving to yourself first will only result in you feeling tired, overwhelmed, stressed out, and utterly...